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Gush Forth my Tears... 2002-04-05 - 7:21 p.m. [Music: Miranda Sex Garden - Gush Forth my Tears] ...Smile smile smile...we've got to at least look happy when your words stab us so...we *are* happy for you mind you...just...also saddened...We could love you you know...give ourself to you completely...Sigh. We put ourself through hell far far too much. We like a certain boy, and another boy, and then two more boys as well...god dammit. First is, as you may have guessed by now...Tony..we don't know what's going on with that mind you...we just...want. Next is Dar...but who doesn't love him? That's...love in a different sense anyhow...we wish we saw more of him. After that is Dave...but he appears to have dropped off the face of the earth and we are worried sick...we think...we love him..for keeps. Lastly would be Tim...he lets us touch him and be semi-intimate with him and we click so well but he has a girlfriend... We just can't seem to figure out where we stand among these people. And the other people won't leave us the fuck alone...which may in fact be a good thing...we dunno. We're just...surrounded by people that care but we don't want it you see...we want someone to love completely...we want kisses and carresses and someone to be there...but... ...we know that future will never be. We are too flawed. ...why do you people want us...? what do you want from us? ...we need to be held...we are sick of crying... Today we should in the shower for near an hour...just stood with the water rushing past my ears...and tracing down my face like a fountain of tears...I wish I could have stayed like that forever...that moment nothing mattered...we were alone but we had each other... I'm sick of pretending...sick sick sick...and tired of trying to be what we're so obviously not. We can't help anyone...we are useful for nothing but a punching bag...emotional..spiritual...mental...physical...full circle....and we are so abused... Give me time to mend. ~Angel in Runes~ |