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The Burning Flame...

2002-09-21 - 3:30 p.m.

[Music: Unbreakable Soundtrack]

I remember a time when things were simple. The only things that needed to exsist were my my best friend Vizzi, my best friend and first real love Chrystian, and hell...my then boyfriend Kefka...among others.

Everything was so simple then. Do you remember? I do. I remember when I would call at 2, 3, 4 in the morning...just to hear your voice. I remember that one night when your cusin was over best of all. You were a little sick and Vizzi was over the house...the four of us talked for hours...it was...wonderful. And I remember when she fell asleep in my arms while you and I talked....I have no warmer memory.

I wonder if you remember...

And I take a a look at how I acted...the things I said about always doing the work and you never making the effort...and God I realize what an idiot I was. You did what you could....So I have no reason to hate you or be angry.

And y'know...I miss that simplicity. I miss the e-mails and the phone calls...especially now when I have the ability to see you for *more* than an hour.

At that time it was just you and Vizzi and the mall and pysche class. I remember when I used to ask you for help in that class. Everything comes back to you...

I tried to convince myself of anger and a million other things...but it's not true at all. Maybe that's why I'm so indecisive.

I'm not a vocal person anymore. My feelings are something locked away so deep even I don't know them anymore. And that tends to hurt people....But it always happens so I've ceased to really care.

Many people leave me to my own devices without a reason...so why not act in a particular way to give them a reason to leave? ~shrugs~

So I'm mad. Quite so in fact. I should have stayed in the ward to sort myself out but I was as good a liar then as I am now.

S'funny when you become the lie yourself. And people slip away...just like clockwork. No one can understand the reasoning of a crazy girl...particularly when she doesn't understand herself.

Indeed. ~flicks on her zippo and blinks vapidly~

~Angel in Runes~



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